BITTER/SWEET LOVE
With withered hands she drew her long grey windswept hair
away from her face. As she
sat on the bench she took in the familiar freshness of the
sea air and listened to the squawking of the seagulls ringing out their tune.
She had not come here for closure for she would not find it. Nor would her love
for him break free of its hold or his memory fade.
Fifty years had passed since the summer vacation she had
taken at her Aunt’s to recover from completing her A level exams. She closed her eyes and her senses took here
back to that halcyon day which was to change her life forever. She remembered
how she had unwrapped her peanut butter sandwiches and the seagull which had
swooped beside her. She broke a piece
off and it ate hungrily only to be joined by a swamp of gnashing beaks eager to
take their fill. Engulfed by panic she
could see the figure of a young lad in the distance. He had noticed her plight
and running towards her with arms flailing ferociously dispersed the unwelcome
prey. “Are you OK” he enquired anxiously?"
She took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh of relief,
“Yes, yes thank you so much, that was so scary. A bit like that film with the
birds”. He smiled, “Yes something like that. Do you mind if I take a
seat?”. She moved her coat, “Please do.
I guess I owe you a sandwich”. No I am fine thank you. The name’s Steve. It’s
lovely here. I’m working on Contract in the area but I come from Newcastle ”.
She felt herself blush, “I’m Maggie and I live about ten miles inland. I’m
taking vacation here after doing A levels. I hope to get in to teacher training
college pending my results”
The rest of course was history. Sharing their dreams of an eventual
future together.
She had struck lucky for he was genuine, loving and adored
her. After a blissful summer
his contract ended and he went back to Newcastle . They agreed to write and she remembered
penning her first letter; her words echoing
the intense love and fire in her heart .
The excitement of receiving his first letter was her every breath. She
waited patiently albeit the restless nights unable to sleep in anticipation of the
early morning post. Yet no reply!!!!!! She couldn’t ring for his parents did
not have a home telephone as many didn’t in the late 1950s. She wrote again.
Still no reply!!!!!!!!!
The coldness in the air brought her back to reality and she
opened her eyes. Her face was wet where she had been quietly sobbing. The storm
clouds overhead were significantly angry and reflective of her mood. She hated
him for betraying her yet still loved and cherished his memory. Answers she would never have and a soul which wouldn’t rest.
She re-gained composure and felt the presence of a middle aged woman next to her.
“Do you mind if I sit here?”. “No of course not. Please do”, Maggie replied.
The woman
made herself comfortable,” Looks a bit stormy luv, are you from around here?”.
“Oh no”
replied Maggie. “I live in Arundel but always liked it here.
When I retired from teaching I was thinking of moving here but you know how it
is. I don’t want to move away from friends in my old age. I have no family, never married.”. The woman waved to a passer by, “I’m along
the seafront quite a bit. I work in the nursing home up on the hill and we
bring the folk down in their wheelchairs on a good day. The sea air is so good”
Maggie
-2-
turned and looked towards the Home, “Yes lovely spot. I
would imagine the patients are local residents?” “Yes they are. It is
practically impossible for outsiders to get a placement here. Mind you, we had a
chap some time back who we had to take when his parents could no longer look
after him. He insisted he had to be here and special arrangements were made
through the Board up north for him to come here on mental health grounds. He
wasn’t actually mental but somehow he needed to be here for his own sanity” “That was good for
him then; exceptional circumstances especially if he was younger than the others”
Maggie quipped.
The woman took out a packet of cigarettes and offered Maggie one . “No thank you, but please go
ahead”. She lit the cigarette, “The names Sharon
in case we meet again or just pop in and have a cuppa”. Maggie felt her warmth
and smiled, “Thank you, maybe I will, I’m Maggie. I think the Carers in Homes
are wonderful. It’s very sad that younger chap had no-one to take care of him
after his parents. Obviously no family”. Sharon
put out her cigarette. “Yes it was tragic. With us for thirty years he was. Died
a couple of years ago. I used to bring him out and he always wanted to sit in
his wheelchair under that tree.
Apparently as a young lad he was courting a girl on vacation
here. He had o go back up North but had a near fatal crash on the way back.
Paralysed from the waist down. He intended to marry the girl. She wrote to him
several times but he didn’t want to be a burden and ruin her life plus he knew she wanted a family. He just wanted her
to move on so he never replied. Broke his heart it did and he kept her photo by
his bed until the day he died. Maggie’s mind was racing and she could feel
herself tremble. “Sharon , could you
walk over to that tree with me, the
ground is unsteady?” Sharon
looked puzzled,” Yes luv of course, if that’s what you want, Here give me your
arm”.
They reached the tree. ” I carved my name on this tree with
a young man once” Maggie said trying to keep her composure.” I will show you”.
She moved around the back of the stump. “There it is Steve and Maggie”. In
disbelief Sharon covered her face.
“Oh God his name was Steve, Steve Sampson!!!!!!” The tears cascaded down Maggie’s
face, “A heart has been carved around it”. Sharon
held her close, “Steve carved that heart just before he passed away. Maggie
traced the indent of the heart with her hand. She would have sacrificed
anything to have shared a life with him. Nevertheless she had still been his
and he hers. A feeling of warmth overwhelmed her for her heart was on fire..
She looked towards the sky. The sun was peeping through, “One day my love, one
day!!!.
