Monday, 19 January 2015

THE CHALLENGE


He drew open the curtains and surveyed his new surroundings. This was not only the dawning of a new day but the awakening into the unknown. The rented flat was dull, shabby and musty and the noise from the street market sellers below echoed the unfamiliar loud uncut tones of the East End. As he opened the wardrobe door his Saville Row suits and Designer clothing were a stark contrast to the newly purchased cheap clothing.  His descent in society was of his own choice and reasoning and would ultimately answer the question which so haunted him

His mobile rang causing a flush of adrenalin. He knew it would be Cassandra and let it go to voicemail. “Hi Jeremy, I have spoken with Rob. He says you are back from South Africa but had to go straight to Wales for family reasons. Hope everything is OK. Oh by the way the Midsummer ball is coming up and I’ve seen this really super dress. It’s a tad expensive and will sell quickly. Its unaffordable with my rent and outgoings so baby could you help me out.  I love to look good on your arm. Ring me back when you have a moment. Chow”. He loved her dearly but would spend a few days to himself adjusting to his new surroundings and then the challenge would begin.

He walked across to the café. “Yes luv, what can I get you?” “A full English breakfast and a coffee please” he replied nervously. “Take a seat, I’ll bring it over”. The atmosphere was friendly; must all be locals he guessed. “You aren’t from around here are you?” came the voice of an old man sitting nearby. “No” Jeremy replied, “I moved in across the road yesterday so you could say I’m a newcomer”. “Folk are friendly here, everyone knows everyone, Harry’s the name”. The old man reached out a hand. “Pleased to meet you Harry, I’m Jeremy or Jerry for short”.  “Ah here’s your breakfast lad, enjoy. I’ll leave you with the newspaper, hope to see you again.” Jeremy ate heartedly. The food was as welcoming as the company and he was impressed by the old man’s genuine friendliness.

The summer air felt heavy and dusty. The market stalls were busy with its bustle of Saturday shoppers zig zaging their way around with buggies and shopping trolleys. Life here is rough yet free from greed and social expectations. His mobile rang again. Panic engulfed him once again for it would be Cassandra. He knew deep in his heart he might one day have to let her go for she was the reason for his current situation. Again he listened to her voicemail. “Hi Jeremy, I tried to call you earlier but haven’t heard from you. Perhaps you’re out of range. Love and miss you honey”. Avoiding her was stressing him intensely for he knew he would have to call her. Time to ‘touch base’ with Rob and Mark with whom he had flat shared in South Kensington before his trip abroad. “Hi Rob, its Jeremy. Just to let you know Cassandra has phoned  me twice. Thanks for sticking to the plan. She thinks I’m in Wales with my parents. I’ll contact her in a couple of days. Speak later in the week”. He would now relax and savor the day to himself.

The noise of the street was saturated by a sea of accents from local cockney to the far off shores of distant Asia. He passed an Eel, Pie and Mash eatery. He would try that one
                                                              -2-


day. As he approached his flat he could hear the fruit and veg Seller, “Bananas, get your bananas”. An old lady fumbled in her purse “I’ve got some more loose change in my pocket; I need to give you 50p more”. As he packed yet another bunch into a bag the seller lent over “Don’t worry about that luv, just give me a pound”. Jeremy was impressed for they looked after their own in times of need and beyond.

He showered in readiness for an evening at the local pub. He didn’t welcome the idea of going in alone but with a band playing it would be busy and he could immerse himself in the crowd. He queued at the Bar. “Yes luv, what can I get you”  “ A pint of  Carlsberg please” Jeremy noticed her hands; hard working hands considering her youth.The Band started  up and the Bar area cleared.. He sat on an empty Bar Stool and soaked up the atmosphere.. He ordered another pint. “A busy evening for you tonight” he quipped.
She flicked her thick aubumn hair from her face, “Yea, I’ll be glad when its over, I was here cleaning at eight this morning. I clean here in the mornings and serve some evenings, you know how it is, keeps things ticking over. I live with my mother and have a two year old son, Charlie  but tomorrow is a day off.”
He was taken aback by her allegiance to hard work. “Have a good day tomorrow, take it easy. Oh by the way the name’s Jeremy, and yours?”  “Emma luv” she replied..

He spent the next couple of days soaking up the atmosphere of the local area. Then time was of the essence and he should  contact Cassandra. As he took his mobile out of his pocket he took a deep breath and pressed her number.. “Hi Cassandra, Sorry I didn’t call you.. I arrived back from South Africa last week but had to fly straight into Cardiff to sort out a few things with the family. I have broken away from the family business as I want to use my literacy degree knowledge and write a novel. You know, something for myself.” “Wow that is incredible Jeremy. If successful it will bring fame and fortune or even a blockbuster”.” Steady on girl, its not that easy to get a result. My parents are paying my rent and I’ve moved to a one bedroomed flat in East London” “Why East London Jeremy, that’s not your style?” “But that is exactly it. The novel will be based on that area so for research sake I need to live there. The flat is groggy and cheap but I only need a base. Anyway writers are always poor” he laughs. “Well yes Jeremy but I bet you’ll be back with the family business in no time. Poor isn’t your style”.

Cass ,I know we were talking of moving in together, well why not move across here.”
She hesitated, “Oh wow Jeremy, I never thought you’d ask. It’s a tad far for me to travel to work in Kensington but a girl has to support her man when he has ambition to climb great  heights. I will bring my things by cab Friday evening if that’s OK.”.

She arrived outside the shabby flat and looked up. Her head spun. Could she actually live here for  it was grim and the thought repulsed her. On the other hand she adored Jeremy. He was a ‘good catch and  may have found a path  in which eventual success would bring recognition amongst the elite of literacy and possibly a moneyed future. If not he would surely re-join the family business.

                                                       -3-


Jeremy laid the ground rules bare. Rule 1. He would write only when alone. Writers  needed quietness and privacy without the turmoil from others. He would do his research and writing  whilst she was at work.  Rule 2.  He would secure his work so only he could access it. Sharing it with her would disrupt their time together and critisicm would only make him insecure. The later rule  knawed at her with intensity but at least when together she would have him to herself instead of  the loneliness of watching him burn the midnight oil. 

So far she was playing into his hands and he hoped  the eventual outcome would bring the answer he so needed.

He awoke early on Saturday morning and nudged her, “Think we’ll go out to eat”. She opened her eyes, “I’ve go a new pair of Victoria Beckham jeans to wear. Where are you taking me Jeremy?” Her mind was racing with  excitement, “There’s a lovely new Restaurant in South Kensington”. He gave her a gentle hug, “It’s a surprise”.  The Street Market was busy. Cassandra found the atmosphere of the crowd  and gruff voices of the street vendors disconcerting. This was not her style though she reminded herself this was the learning curve of Jeremy’s research and she needed to support him in his quest whilst keeping  her own balance.

He took her by the hand and lead her to the Eel, Pie and Mash eatery. As he opened the door he looked at her with a wry smile. “This is an experience we must try, they say the food is good. She felt her stomach lurch with disappointment though she knew her pretence had to be maintained. “Oh wow, this is certainly different, good choice”. As they ate she surveyed the tatty café style layout and banter of those around her, “The food is lovely and this place, well what can I say, it certainly has character”. “Glad you like it” he replied. I’ve never tried it either. Tonight we’ll go across to the Half Moon; they have a band Saturday nights.

The Pub was crowded and the queue at the Bar was endless. However Emma caught Jeremy’s gaze. “A pint of Carlsberg and a medium sweet wine for the lady please?”. He noticed she looked tired. “Emma allow me to introduce you to Cassandra or rather Cass for short.. She’s now moved in across the way with me”. “Nice to meet you luv” she replied in her Cockney slang. Again Cassandra felt uncomfortable “Likewise, thank you”. Jeremy sensed her discomfort, slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her in tightly, “Have you noticed these people are so genuinely good hearted and easy going. When you get to know them its so easy to relax”. Cassandra  smiled gently, yes they are lovely. May I have another white wine please?” He looked at her glass, “That went down rather quickly” he quirked with a smile, “It’ll  go to you head”.

The Band had struck up and he went to the Bar. “Yes Jeremy what can I get you?"
 "Another white wine please Emma, By the way you look tired. Is the little one OK?"
                                                       
                                                                 -4

She poured the wine into a glass, “Had very little sleep last night, he has a cough and I was here cleaning at eight then had to visit my dad who isn’t too well either”. Jeremy sighed, “Rather a lot on your plate at the moment”. Cassandra  noticed the familiar  banter and scowled. He passed her the wine and beckoned her near the door where it was quieter. “How about we go out to Canary Wharf for a spot of lunch tomorrow? Her  face lit up, “Oh yes, it’ll be like old times”. “Well not quite” he quipped. “I’m financially squeezed. Ninety pound for a meal is out of my budget but I guess I can manage somewhere mid-way”.  She hid her disappointment but  in her silent mind hoped  he would eventually tire of this lifesyle and face reality. “Yes, of course I understand. I want you to fulfill your dream and if that means cutting back well so be it.”  He ran his fingers through her hair. “That’s what I love about you Cass, if this project  is a success then I have achieved something off my own back and I am so proud of you and your support. How about having Saturday nights in, you know wine and candlelight. We could take it in turns. I’ll cook next week. It’ll be special, just the two of us.” She nuzzled her head into his neck. “Yes, would be lovely”

She loved his cooking and the combination of candlelight and wine played with her emotions. As they lay on the sofa she sipped her wine and felt an overwhelming contentment. He was a good man and deep down she loved him. As she placed her head on his chest she felt safe and  drifted into sleep. Next week would be her turn to return the gesture..      

The loud, gruff voice of the fruit and veg seller outside the flat annoyed her immensely.
“Yes luv what can I get you, in fact don’t answer that darling cos I’d give you the world.
He chuckled and eye her from head toe. She felt herself cringe at his common and forward manner, bought two bunches of grapes and made a quick exit back up to the flat.

“You look a bit flushed” Jeremy said, “Are you OK?” She put the grapes on the table,
“That guy down there on the stall is rough and offensive.  I don’t like his manner”
Jeremy took her hand, “You mean Jake. His manner may be so but he is still in business.
Would you believe me if I told you he goes to the Caribbean twice a year and they saye he
owns a beautiful home;, swimming pool the lot. Apparently he owns owns a number of stalls down there. A lot of those kind of people are moneyed. It’s all part of the learning curve honey.” Still wouldn’t be my type “ she replied flippantly.

The following few weeks were blissful and Jeremy sensed a togetherness and continuous foundation of happiness in Cassandra. The marketing project on which she had been working had been demanding yet successful.

He was sitting sipping coffee awaiting her arrival home when he heard her bounce up the stairs. Excitedly she threw her handbag onto the sofa. “Guess what? we are going for a celebratory meal Saturday night to celebrate the success of the Cereal promotion. Apparently it’s flying off the shelves. Do you really mind if I join the others and stay with my parents or a girlfriend for the night? I appreciate it’s our ‘night in’ but I’ll make
                                                           -5-                            

it up to you” Jeremy placed his mug on its Coaster. “No of course not Cass, it’ll do you good to ‘let your hair down."

She enjoyed the weekend for with it came freedom  and re-claimed luxury of one of her favourite restaurants.  Unbeknown to her the occasion would bring her to the crossroads of confusion. In Jeremy she had found a genuine and safe love yet again she hungered for the ‘high life’. However shed had to 'hang on'. for he was ariculate, educated, reliable and would surely return to his 'roots' and financial standing if she waited long enough..  Perhaps she could sway a few more girlie nights out to keep her inner balance. She would have to approach him when the moment was right.

Lying in his arms a few nights later she took her opportunity. “How about we try that  Indian Restaurant at the end of the market. I  know you’ve always wanted to. My treat?” “That’s thoughtful of you Cas”. She kissed him on the cheek, “I’ll book a half day in the week and we’ll do it. I do love it here, it’s, you know, fascinating and different”. Unintentionally Jeremy  asked the question which ‘played right into her hands’. “It means so much that you like it here with me. You really are very supportive, I love you so dearly., you know how much this project means to me. I know you enjoyed your night out with the girls, you must  think of yourself also”.  She felt a huge relief for here was her cue. “Well actually they are going out for a birthday on Friday, we will still have our Saturday night together, would you mind?” He stroked her hair “Of course not, in fact there’s a talk on local history in the Town Hall Friday evening. I’ll go to that. Now let’s go to sleep, your alarm goes off at seven.. ”” 

Friday morning she rose early and excitedly packed a bag. “See you tomorrow night, Ill be staying with one of the girls. I’ll bring home some shopping, my  turn to cook”

As he approached the old Town Hall he admired its architectural beauty. A small crowd was beginning to gather. “Sorry! this evening’s been cancelled” came the voice from the Caretaker “The Speaker has been taken ill”.

There was only one other option, the Pub. At least Emma would be good company. She was well liked for her humour and genuine kindness. He knew deep in his heart  had it not been for his love for Cassandra he would find a soulmate and undoubtedly more in her. Something he always mindfully dismissed.. 

As he entered the Pub he felt uneasiness. Far from the usual greetings the atmosphere was silent and awkward. Emma caught hi glance. “Hi Jeremy luv, what can I get you?” “Has someone died?” he asked quietly and inquisintly. As she poured his usual pint  he noticed her blush. “What’s the matter Emma. Are you OK?” “Yes, thank you I’m fine.”  He sipped his pint. “The atmosphere here is definitely different. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Joe and Bill looking over. Emma felt flustered. She didn’t want him to be the last to know yet she hadn’t the heart to tell him.

                                                            -6-


As the evening gathered pace the drink flowed. Jim Hansen, a stall holder who spoke his mind after a ‘skinfull’ staggered  over to the bar. Emma shuddered as he put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “So where is your young lady tonight? “ Jeremy turned round, “She’s gone out with friends for a Birthday drink in the West End”. Jim’s tone got louder, “Does that often does she, go up West?” “A couple of times, you know how girls like to get together without us guys hanging around”. Jim took a swig of his beer. “Well, young Jeremy, I think you should know that Jake on the fruit and veg stall just below your flat
has helped himself  and took her to a hotel in Park Lane last Saturday night and tonight he has other plans for her. Apparently she likes the ‘high life’.  Jeremy felt the rush of adrenalin rush through his body. “I don’t believe it, I can’t. I thought we had come to some kind of compromise. She was so attentive, loving and happy”.  Jim looked across at Emma “I think you would be better dealing with this from here.” He patted Jeremy on the pack. “Sorry mate to tell you but he’s not popular round here. Owns quite a few of  the stalls so folk keep quiet cos they need heir jobs. Thinks he can take what he wants. Emma threw her arms around Jeremy. “It’s OK luv, I’m so sorry my heart bleeds for you. You deserve better”. He clung to her, sobbed  and felt her warmth.

After shift she walked him home. “Now here is a small bottle of Brandy, it will calm you.
Just cry your hear out. I’ll make arrangements at home to tell mum I’m staying out. The little one will be fine with her. You can’t be left alone. I’ll sleep in a chair”

The Brandy calmed him. He was distraught, felt he’d failed yet a surge of relief took over. At least he had his answer. They sat on the sofa,  and as he placed his head on her shoulders he felt the softness of her long blonde  hair on his cheek and fell  asleep in her arms

Emma heard a key in the door. Cassandra ran up the stairs sobbing and bearing a badly bruised eye. She glared at Emma, “What the hell are you doing here?” “What the hell have you been doing Cassandra, he knows it all and I wasn’t the one to tell him” Cassandra dabbed her eye, “Jake decided to replace me at the last minute and when I objected started punching me.  I just wanted a bit of the ‘high life. I didn’t want Jeremy to find out, I didn’t want to hurt him”

Jeremy stirred and opened his eyes. “Half drunk and red eyed he slurred, “What are you doing back and what happened to you?” She told him the truth. “Please, please Jeremy, forgive me, I love you and beg you”. He beckoned her to the kitchen for he did not want Emma to hear the truth, not yet. He looked her straight in the face with both pity and hatred. “It was a challenge Cass, there was no writing project and I am still in the family business. Before I made a decision on our permanent future I needed to know you would love me for myself, not for wealth. I now have my answer. It’s not the one I wanted but it’s over, no turning back” Sill she sobbed and begged.  “Did Rob and Mark know?” “Yes, they were in on it because I needed to do this”

                                                            -7-


Jeremy went back in the living room to Emma and whispered, “You and I have some talking to do tomorrow”

Emma bathed Cassandra’s bruise and Jeremy packed her possessions then rang her parents and dialed a cab.

He took Emma in his arms and kissed her passionately. She too felt the love run through her veins. As his story unfolded Emma was shaken. Life would be different for her and her young son but as she said, “In moderation Jeremy, I am who I am"..

GAME OVER – he had found true love.
     
20/01/15


.


 
 







Friday, 19 September 2014

THE WAITING GAME                         Monologue


SCENE

A young woman in her mid thirties dressed casually yet smartly in black leggings, pumps and silk oriental print kimono is sitting on the sofa in a spacious luxury apartment overlooking the London Thames.

SHE TAKES OFF HER GLASSES, FLICKS HER LONG BRUNETTE HAIR FROM AROUND HER FACE AND PUTS DOWN HER KINDLE.

Reading! I love reading. Just as well considering. It’s quite tedious and lonely when you wait and wait for your man.

Jeremy is a Consultant Surgeon in Orthopaedics. Yes! He works long hours and quite ften I am disappointed with the last minute call. You know,”So sorry Susie darling , I’ve been called into theatre in an emergency”. Of course I can’t complain. He is of good financial standing and I never have to slave over a hot stove for him. Jeremy likes fine dining and we always eat at the finest restaurants away from London. One of our favourites is out in Buckinghamshire. It is quiet and peaceful, away from the buzz and the prospect of bumping in to colleagues and  then all that “work talk”.  

SHE WALKS OVER TO THE DRINKS CABINET AND LOOKS INSIDE.

“G + T? Why not! I’ll get his Malt Whiskey and glass ready. Ice is in the fridge. We usually have a swift one before calling a cab to the restaurant.

SHE POURS HER DRINK, SITS BACK DOWN AND LOOKS AT HER WATCH.

Seven thirty. Said he’d be back around eight tonight. We met when I worked in the Beauty Hall at Harrods four years ago. He came in to buy some perfume for his mother and we began chatting whilst I was gift wrapping for him. The rest of course is history.
I stopped working weekdays to be available when he is around. His working pattern was and still is unreliable though weekends he works flat out in the private sector. Better pay than the NHS. No chance of seeing him then but one has to sacrifice something for the luxuries we enjoy.

 SHE LOOKS AROUND AND PICKS UP A PHOTO FROM THE SMALL COFFEE TABLE NEXT TO THE SOFA.

This was taken when we went on a 3 day trip to Paris. It was summer, the holiday period and it was difficult to take leave so Jeremy said he wanted to take a few days out to see some research on a personal project he was into up country. Well……..we were queuing to book into the hotel when he spotted a colleague and his wife at the bar. Small world isn’t it. Fortunately they were facing the other way so unnoticed we slid away and
                                                       -2-


changed accommodation. Phew …..that was a close one. Consequently we spent the entire time hiding away in that  hotel.

Poor Jeremy! He felt so awkward he bought me a breathtakingly beautiful emerald and diamante necklace with matching earrings. You know the kind of pieces you would wear with exclusive evening wear at black tie or whatever.

Now that reminds me. Melissa!!!!!! She is a ‘fly in the ointment’. Every year Jeremy has her on his arm at the New Year Ball. Of course she is an asset, one of the crowd. She did her training as a Registrar with the others ten years ago. Naturally she can keep on par with the elite and their medical chit chat at the dinner, that’s until the wine really flows.    .After that what goes on at the New Year Ball stays at the Ball (SHE WINKS) and  these are the professionals who chop us about on the operating tables (SHE LAUHS). Mind you, I have little to worry about. Jeremy finds her irritating, dominant and self centered but nevertheless once extremely useful. I believe she used to be a rather popular girl (SHE WINKS) and had connections which may have helped his ascension into Consultancy. Obviously he feels some obligation to invite her to such functions.

(SHE LOOKS AT HER WATCH)

Umm, ten minutes to eight.

(SHE GLANCES ACROSS THE ROOM AND POINTS TO THE HUGE PATIO WINDOWS)

The sun’s gone down and the light is beginning to fade but its still a beautiful view. Calm and peaceful as the day subsides into the magic of twilight. Yes he works non stop but he wanted to buy  this place for us. He doesn’t even allow me to contribute financially to the upkeep. He says this is his haven, his sanity.

SHE LOOKS AT HER GLASS

Empty! I’ll hold out and wait for Jeremy. Not a good thing to drink alone they say. I wonder if we’ll go to that new French Brasserie. It’s right out “in the sticks” but the cabbie will find it.

I would take up an evening class but then again I need to be here to comply with his forever changing shift patterns.

One day……….yes one day he will take down his workload but of course he is at the pinnacle of his career. I’m not alone in this dilemma. With success come many sacrifices
and they say the support of  good partners/wives/friends etc.

                                                            -3-
 


SHE CHECKS HER WATCH

Eight o’clock. Umm, no text or call so I guess he’s in traffic.

SHE OPENS HER LAPTOP AND PUS ON HER GLASSES

Haven’t checked my e-mails today. Probably the same old junk mail to delete. Oh there’s one from Jeremy. Posted at 09.21 this morning.

SHE READS OUT LOUD

Darling Susie. I hope you find this as my mobile fell out of my jacket onto the drive and I reversed over it.

SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND READS THE REMAINDER IN SILENCE
AND THEN LOOKS UP

Thought so!!!!!! apparently at breakfast Melissa suggested they have a family evening and take the children to the cinema tonight. What did they say about not drinking alone?

SHE TAKES HER GLASS OVER TO THE DRINKS CABINET, POURS ANOTHER DRINK AND PICKS UP HER KINDLE






                                                                                   19/09/2014
AN ODE TO MY MASTER             DEDICATED BY LEAH TO JOHN MARLOW


SONNET WITH IAMBIC PENTAMETER




The love in my eyes come straight from my heart
For you have been my Master from the start.
I depend on you to fulfill my needs
With a ball in hand you gather my lead.
We walk to the field; I’m eager to run
You throw it far; we have such fun.
I jump high in the air and  catch the ball
You say “That’s my girl, you can do it all”.

When your labours are through you take your rest
To sit by your side is what I love best.
The food on your plate is really divine
I go to my bowl and some of its mine.
You sleep in your bed; I lay by your side
I’ll protect you always with love and pride




19/09/2014  

Friday, 1 August 2014

STORY



THE SILVER LINING

She made her way through the fresh spring air. The reflection of the sun open the daffodils enhanced the beautiful abundance of yellow. ‘Spring’, she sighed, ‘a new beginning yet she was about to enter a darkened closure which would never lift the cloud
that had besieged her.

Susan had received a call from her Mother’s nurse. “Sorry to trouble you, my name is Adele your mother is gravely ill. I thought you should be informed it’s only a matter of time.” Her mother had relinquished all ties with her on her 21st birthday when she dared to enquire the identity of her father. She had bought her daughter up by herself and to ensure privacy had alienated all around her. Her childhood was a lonely existence encased in a life of loneliness from family and the prying eyes of outsiders.  “Don’t get involved with them lass, they only want answers to scandalous questions. I keep my own counsel” she would say.

She reached her mother’s gate. With heart pounding she knocked on the worn brass knocker of the faded door. As it opened she was greeted by a kindly middle aged woman in a crisp white nursing tunic. “Hello, you must be Susan”. She lead her to her mother’s room. The frail figure in front of her, sunken cheeks and severely pointed cheeks opened her eyes. Upon seeing her daughter the fire in her eyes blazed. “So…… I suppose you have your own purpose (her mother took some oxygen from her mask) well, you have wasted your time”. She half heartedly hoped her mother would voluntarily offer compassion to end the demon which so haunted her. It had finally become apparent her mother would take her answer to the grave and she would not push the issue.  “Mum,
it matters not, not anymore. I wanted to see you. Adele rang to say you were very poorly.
I had to come”. A smile broke out on her mother’s face and Susan noticed the familiar dimples in her cheeks. She always loved those dimples and felt blessed she had inherited them. She reached out and touched her mother’s hand and felt her squeeze it back. She tried to hold back the tears which filled her eyes “Mum, would you like me to pack a bag and come and stay. No questions, just time together?”. Her mother took another intake from the oxygen mask.  “Yes dear, that would be lovely”.

They spent her mother’s final days together and when the inevitable happened Susan mourned for the lost years and the untimely early death at forty one from the cancer which had riddled her. At least she had the consolation of mending bridges and gave her mother the funeral she deserved. Indeed attendance was sparse for she knew only a handful of relatives owing to her mother’s ‘hermit like’ lifestyle. The occasion had finally convinced her that she had taken her secret to her grave. There had been no whispers nor  hints from the mourners which gave any clue to her dilema.  .

It was now time to reflect on the future. The constant need to learn her father’s identity
was no longer tenable. The cloud which overshadowed her could no longer sour her with bitterness. Time for change.

A local Agency had submitted  her application for a new American Company which had moved into the City five miles away.  She was successful and to her delight found herself

in a new dimension. A third of  the staff were over from the Sates on Contract. It was now the 70s and this  fast moving Company brought with it new technology, different language dialogue, lattes, American Diners , the first car phones for the Company elite; the change was endless and it fascinated her.

Melissa, the secretary next to her was over from the States for six months.  Susan was often perplexed by American dialogue and would rely on her for so called ‘translation’.
“Excuse me mam, can you direct me to the Bathroom?” Susan looked up, “Sorry Sir we don’t have bathrooms”. She noticed Melissa giggle and interrupt the conversation. “Sir, if you care to go down to the end of the corridor the Bathroom is on the right”. She took Susan aside. “He means the Gents, we call it the bathroom”. ”Well what is the bath bit?” quipped Susan. Melissa laughed, “We call the Ladies or Gents toilet the Bathroom anyway how about lunching together and we can have a proper chat?”

They made their way to the sandwich bar and then sat out on the grass. Melissa threw a small piece of crust to a tiny bird in pursuit of some pickings. “My mother was a G.I bride. My father took her back to the States after the war. They are now divorced and she has re-married. I’ve always wanted to see her roots so this temporary transfer has given me the chance to stay with my grandparents in her hometown of Brookfield.”  “That’s the next town to me Susan remarked, I know it well. My mother has recently passed away and I never knew my father. Mum said he was a bad man who had walked out on her.
Apparently she didn’t even tell him she was expecting me. Neither did she ever divulge his identity to anyone, not even close family. My birth certificate reads “Father unknown”. Apparently he was the only man she had ever known and had no intention of finding another after that”.  “That’s awful Susan, I’m so sorry. Tell you what, how about we have a weekend in London. You can show me the sights, it’ll be fun?”

It was an enjoyable two days. “Oh my God. Buckingham Palace. Is the Queen there?”
Squealed Melissa. “Let’s do Piccadilly, Trafalgar Square and Covent Garden. Tomorrow can we see Harrods and Knightsbridge.?”. Susan enjoyed the weekend for she knew the next week she would be on leave and a hard task awaited her. Melissa sensed her mood, I’m at work next week and I appreciate this is a personal and private matter but I will help you if you need me.”

She woke before dawn on Monday, it was early and she pulled the duvet around her in an attempt to savor another hour’s sleep. Her restless mind won the fight and she went downstairs to switch on the percolator. The water from the shower refreshed her and the smell of the freshly brewed coffee was welcoming. As she held the mug in her hands she tried to draw comfort from its warmth. As she sipped the coffee she anticipated he relentless task ahead. She knew the ‘turning out’ of her mother’s belongings would be an emotionally demanding pursuit. Some of it would be the usual bric-a-brac or clothes for charity, some memorabilia and family photos. Her thought was interrupted by the house phone. It was Melissa,” Susan, I’ve had a call from the States. My father is going in for an operation; nothing serious but I fly out to Boston tomorrow. I’ll be round at
one o’clock. I’ve phoned in for compassionate leave”. Susan pulled the phone nearer the bottom step of the stairs and sat down,” Are you sure you’ve got time, it’s really kind of you Melissa; you’ve got packing to do?”  Melissa’s tone was relaxed, “No problem honey, I’m just throwing a few things in now and booked the ticket with the local Travel Agent.. Luckily there were plenty of seats left. The flight isn't until late tomorrow. See you later”.

As she entered her mother’s house she felt uneasy. It smelt musty and felt eerie. Placed in the front of the house was the skip she had ordered. It would suit Items of old furniture, threadbare rugs and junk. Her mother had always been a hoarder so she would tackle the kitchen first; get it done. As she waided through the pots and pans, plates and cutlery she kept aside some decent enough for charity and left the remainder for disposal. The silver plated two tier cake stand she would keep for they brought back precious memories of her childhood baking days. She riffled through paperwork, mainly old bills and useful emergency telephone numbers stuffed into nooks and crannies. The kitchen complete she opened some freshh milk and switched on the worn old kettle.

The doorbell rang. “Only me Susan”. Melissa helped her with the coffee and they sat at the kitchen table.  “I’m packed and ready for the flight tomorrow. I’ll give you my flight information before I go this evening You’ve done well, kitchen cupboards and drawers are always the worst, so many things”. Susan sighed, “Think I’ll do mum’s bedroom next. I really don’t want to go through her personal belongings, so personal to her you know what I mean. Will you help me?” Melissa placed her hand on hers “ If you are sure?”

They began with the Tallboy; underwear, nightwear, sweaters and tops.” Melissa can you put sweaters and tops in the charity boxes ,I’ll put  the rest in the black bin bag for the skip. Now the dressing table,”. Melissa opened the drawer, “No makeup!” Susan waded through talcum powders,. creams, hair lotions and rollers, “No mum was never one for makeup. “Only used for attracting the male species. I only had one man, that was enough,
nothing but heartache” she’d say. All  to go out in the bin bag this lot”

Hesitantly Susan  wandered over to the bedside cabinet. Melissa sensed the nervousness etched upon her face, “Take it steady honey”. Susan thumbed through a couple of hardback books and postcards. As she picked up a tatty old telephone book her hands shook as she went through each page. “Phew, only old family numbers, doctors and dentists, that sort of thing. She didn’t mix socially, said folk would only pry so didn’t take friends on board.” Susan closed the bedside cabinet door. “Only the wardrobe now”.

She knew her mother had a small briefcase with documents. “Ah here it is. Mum went through these papers with me before she died. You know, the Will and Deeds to the House etc. Its only clothes now”. Melissa sat on the edge of the bed as Susan went through hanger by hanger. Anything half decent to charity the remainder in the bin bag.
She scoured the top shelf and found some memorabilia her mother had kept from her childhood; her drawings from infant school and three photograph albums. Tears cascaded down her  cheeks. Melissa hugged her as she flipped quickly through the albums. “Put them aside honey, they are yours. They are your childhood”. The top shelf was now empty. Susan took a deep breath, “That’s all done”. Melissa went to close the doors, “Just a minute, on the top shelf there is something caught between the corner of the shelf and wall at the back “. Susan stretches up, “Looks like a tatty old scarf or something, I’ll grab it”. She eases it out. “Its’ an old cap, military I’d say”. She blows the dust off and spreads it out. “Has a silver coloured lining with something on it like 'Property of the American Air force'. Oh there’s a name tag, a  bit difficult to read” Heart  racing and hands shaking her instinct is telling her she has found her answer. “It looks like Jon Sil…. Err Silverman. .Melissa, your name is Silverman”. Speechless they stare at each other. Melissa tries to gain composure, “My father is Jon Silverman and he was over here in this area when he met my mother. Susan, if you mother only ever had one boyfriend, well it is possible”. She is interrupted by Susan, “We could be half sisters”. Melissa ponders, “Susan, come with me to the States tomorrow, for now I’ll just say you are a friend until dad is recovered.
Susan breaks down, “I am confused, half of me is scared, the other half of me is excited. It feels like the adrenalin is pumping away the cloud which has so tortured my entire being.  Anyway now is not the time for your father”. Melissa hugs her, “I know that but tests can be done later”. “No Melissa, you go and we will sort things out in a month or so after his recovery”

The following morning Melissa made her way to the Airport. She sat in the departure lounge mulling over the previous day’s events. She was looking forward to seeing her father yet knew she had to conceal the newly found situation. “Will all passengers on flight NA371 please procede to boarding gate C ready for departure.

As she approached the Gate she felt a tap on the shoulder. She spun round, “Susan, oh
Honey, you’re joining me to Boston.




EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING
   .
02/08/2014     
   






Wednesday, 9 July 2014

SONNET  

REFLECTIONS (with Iambic Pentameter)

Summer is fading, it’s brightness subsides
The late evening sun goes down to hide
Replaced by the moon and its’ perfection
It has a face; is it your reflection?
I reach out to touch you, so near, so far
Shining down sweetly like my special star.

The gold tones of Autumn enrich our days
Like love’s own splendor which ne’er goes away
Sun kissed Autumn leaves; red, yellow and Gold
Like jewels on the ground, a sight to behold.

The pleasures we gain from such resources
The Sun and the Moon taking their courses
I love the moon, it has such perfection
I can see your face in its’ reflection..



Saturday, 5 July 2014


FLASH FICTION



 THE GIFT

As she ran her finger round the rim she caught a fleeting glimpse of her son Sam through the reflection of her glass. Childhood dreams, tears from grazed knees and the confusion of adololescence banished to a bygone age.  The mould was now complete for today he becomes a man.

She looked up at the inscripted ’21 Today’ celebratory bunting flapping in the gentle breeze. With David’s guidance she had applied her utmost in preparing him for the challenges of the adult world.

Jane had met David whilst covering the Teachers’ Strike for regional broadcasting.
He was Headmaster at the local Grammer School and it had befallen upon him to
face the rigors of Jane’s interviewing skills. He was fifteen years her senior, a committed bachelor yet this girl was unique and fascinated him. Regardless of her drive and ambition she exuded genuine sincerity and compassion. Her intellectual standing matched his and he needed her.  His calming and practical influence had become her rock and stability. He was her soul mate, her confidante and she adored him.

His marriage proposal had been well planned. He had phoned her mobile one afternoon. “Hi sweetie, I have a report to do for the school Governors this evening and need to use the office to assess the files. Tell u what. Why not call in about 7 o’clock, and you can give it the once over before I send it.. Then we’ll  eat out”.  Jane happily agreed; it would be good to try that new Bistro on the High Street. She arrived at the school promptly at seven and could see David’s office door ajar. As she entered he stood up and walked towards her, hand outstretched. “Miss Lawson, pleasure to meet you”. She laughed, “Likewise Mr. Hayden”. He went down on one knee. Jane felt a sudden rush of heat
overwhelm her. “Jane Lawson, would you do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife. I have chosen to ask you here on the same spot we were first introduced. It is my favourite place” He giggles quietly to amuse her. I hope you say yes or maybe perhaps think it over. Her eyes filled with tears. “David, I would love to marry you, in fact I cannot envisage life without you but I know a day will come when I must let you go. You need a woman who will give you children. They are not on my agenda and I cannot stand in your way, time will tick on. I am so sorry darling”. He remained on bended knee “I have already made my decision. I have always known the furtherment of your career is paramount and non negotiable. Darling I wouldn’t want to break your spirit.
I love and want only you. Jane I need you”. She wept and threw her arms around him.
“Yes, yes Mr. Hayden, the answer is yes please”. He produced a small box and placed
a ring on her finger. She looked into his eyes. “Let’s celebrate at that new Bistro”.


They settled into married life. Jane felt secure and fulfilled; life had never been better.
David felt blessed; he had found love and companionship.

It was late on a hot humid evening when she returned exhausted from covering the local by-elections. David was in the garden, “Come, relax darling” He poured her a glass of
Wine. She rolled her head back and stared into the starlit sky. He sensed her anxiety. “Something wrong Jane?” She took a sip of wine. “I’ve been asked by News Division in London to apply for the  job of Foreign Correspondent in Africa. Of  course I won’t accept it. The position  would take me away at a moment’s notice and leaving you here. I haven’t forgotten the sacrifice you made for me  and now I must be fair to you. I’ll stay here with Regional News .  It’s non negotiable albeit good to know I made the grade.” . He took a sip of wine and sat back in silence.  She knew he was assessing the situation .  
“Tell you what” he relaxed back with his hands behind his head, “You’ve worked hard for this promotion, it’s in your blood. Let this work for both of us. Apply for the position if you want to. Should you be successful I can take early retirement and buy a small flat in London  where you’ll be based and I’ll  fly out and join you some of the time. Bit of an adventure and we’ll see some of the world. Also we can keep in touch with Skype”.   She felt the weight lift from upon her shoulders. “Oh David, it’s an option. It could
enhance new horizons for us both. Let me think on it”

She applied and accepted the position. David’s plan had served them well. He took early retirement and they moved to London. He joined her frequently. Life was good, adventurous and the world was their oyster.

She was covering the poverty in the Sudan when she heard he news. David had been in a road crash and his life was ‘hanging in the balance’.  The flight back to London was blurred by fearful anticipation. She would now take the helm and fight with him for his survival. 

Her compassionate leave gave her time for quiet reflection. Ambition and career no longer took their part. Priority had now shifted to a new dimension. Yes, she would have David’s child. She knew this was his wish and he would guide her through motherhood.

The birth was an emotional experience. As she cradled her newborn son Sam in her arms
he was a miniature of his father. The same thick hair and a dimple on his chin.
David was thrilled, so proud of them both. She knew he would be. Motherhood embraced her. The new life suckling from her had fuelled an intense bond she could never  forget. David had been right, for this fulfilled her and evaluated her new life within a different  perspective. 

She would sit quietly in the evenings reflecting with David  the joys of the day albeit nearly drifting off through tiredness. His pride shone through and indeed he may have forced her hand but she had made the right decision.

The excitement of the first steps as her little son tried to move towards her. Would they eventually resemble David’s lanky gait?

The tug of emotion at the first full day at the school gate and the familiarities of parenting were helped with  David’s guidance and reassurance. She was thankful for that .

As the years progressed Sam strongly inherited his father’s profile and physique.
Earlier photos of David as a boy were almost identical. Characteristically he had Jane’s single mindedness and strong desire to succeed; a trait David so admired and luckily  harboured his father’s calmness and rational thinking abilities.

Jane eventually eased herself back into the career fold within the Media. Sam, possibly influenced by his mother’s career path studied  Politics at University. A good choice
and two proud parents.

She would always remember his 21st birthday. Friends he had known from the cradle, School and University had all assembled to mark his historic occasion. She looked round and pondered for this generation would be the future; salesmen, doctors, Personal Trainers, Financiers, Lawyers, Engineers. The country would be in their hands.

The music stopped and an announcement  that Sam wanted to make a speech came over the microphone. He took hold of it and amongst a few quirky jokes thanked all who had shared his special occasion. Lastly he turned to Jane. As he began to thank her she noticed  David had appeared beside him. As he finished his speech his father’s image phased back into his son.

David had died from his injuries the day after the  road crash yet  had lived on through his son.

He had a paranoia regarding a premonition of early death; a trait Jane had deplored yet it had prompted him to leave her a gift in his Last Will and Testament. Unknown to her he had donated frozen sperm. If  the premonition should be his fate she had the option to keep  part of him in their child and he would guide her or perhaps she would wish to move on.

She made her choice and knew it had been the right one.. . .






Wednesday, 5 March 2014


Monologue


THE SOCIALITE


SCENE

A woman in her late thirties is sitting drinking coffee at a table in the Palm Court of the Ritz hotel.

(SHE LOOKS UP)

I love the Palm Court (she turns her head and surveys its surroundings) very Poirot.
The finest place in London to enjoy coffee and a Danish and embrace its ambience
with a friend or two.

As you can see I have popped in on my own this morning. Nothing planned today
so am whittling away an hour or so to sit and ponder. Actually, you know I heard Harrods have their New Year sale; perhaps I’ll pop over there later.

(SHE SIPS HER COFFEE)

Many would envy me. Money and time on my hands, dinner and drinks’ parties amongst the elite but it can become repetitious. Mind you, next month I’ve got three days in Paris; an invitation from a long standing male friend who calls me over every so often. “Catch up” is what we call it. It’ll be a change and I love Paris; so refined, so chic. Has a Ritz there too.

(SHE TAKES A SMALL COMPACT MIRROR FROM HER HANDBAG)

Just checking my make-up. You know, I always remember my mother’s words, “Anthea, always look your very best. It could do you a good turn one day”. Well, as it happens her advice served me well. I landed a job as a Flight Attendant and for ten glorious years saw the world. Hard going walking the aisles with meals, drinks and Duty Free but when I got onto long haul we stayed at the finest hotels; such an experience. It was during this time I met Robert whilst on a flight out to Japan. He was on a business trip and happened to be staying at the same hotel as the crew. We bumped into each other at the bar. He was out there brokering a multi million pound contract. Well, I’ll cut to the chase. We met up back in London. He lavished me relentlessly with expensive gifts and was so insistent he wanted ME on his arm. What girl wouldn’t have been blown away? We married and of course I enjoyed the wifely trappings of his wealth, rich business associates of high standing, a luxury flat on London’s Embankment and high rise residence in Manhattan. As it happened the marriage only lasted a year and a half. I discovered he was playing away every time he went away so I divorced him.
                                                     -2-


(SHE CHECKED HER WATCH)

Umm Eleven thirty

As I was saying, I fought for a fair share of the settlement especially considering I half reluctantly gave up a career which had got into my blood. He needed me permanently on standby here in London for various city functions so I guess we worked as a team. Anyway, whilst everything was being finalized I took a month’s holiday in the Caribbean. You know how it is! Time to reflect on the future. Go back to work with the Airline and travel again or find somewhere else to settle. I was still only in my mid thirties; still young enough to move on and change course. I would be financially very comfortable; in fact the world was my oyster. It was during this vacation I met a couple of girls, around my age who were taking a break from a successful business venture. They had made enough to afford the high life and had good connections with rich pickings. I had learnt a great deal about life from my flying days but these girls were impressive, successful and self made.

Anyway when the holiday ended we kept in touch. The divorce settlement enabled me to buy a large luxury apartment in Canary Wharf. It was perfect for entertaining and I still love the view.

I have met some wonderful friends here in London mostly wealthy and high powered; some from abroad when in town.

Carole introduced me to a lovely man last week. Poor chap lost his wife a few years ago.
Apparently she had been his world and the lack of female company and comfort was destroying him. Of course I listened to his plight with a genuine sympathetic ear and saw the photos of his lavish beachside home in Mauritius. Indeed it was a temping prospect
but he wasn’t my type. Rather ‘stayed’ I’d say.

Not all is safe  on your own mind.  I was introduced by a friend of a friend to a well known public figure. After a delightful meal at the Savoy one evening I invited him back for coffee. You would imagine someone of such notoriety would be fine.  My God, he was a Jekyll and Hyde. Got rather nasty to say the least and started to get violent. Thankfully I managed to edge my way over to the alarm panic button. Help arrived whilst he still had me pinned to the wall. It was only a few bruises. I didn’t call the Police; on the contrary, I just wanted him out. Of course I kept my silence.

(SHE SHUDERS AN THEN PULLS A LIST FROM HER HANDBAG)

Shoes, wonder if they’ve got those lovely high stiletto Italian shoes in Harrods’s sale. …..


                                                           -3-
 

Always a must stilettos.  Give the leg line a lovely shape and the ultimate in feminine sensuality. …….. loved them. Think that’s how I ‘bagged’ him.  Best investment I ever made.

(SHE LAUGHS)    

Dior. Moisturizers and perfumes. My word doesn’t it make a dent in he bank account. Always bought that in Duty Free when with the Airline.  I’m running out so haven’t time to wait until going through on the Paris flight.

Lingerie. Always a good time after Christmas to stock up. I’ll hunt around. The finest stores always have a surplus of their exquisite ranges. One can never have too much.

(HER MOBILE RINGS IN HER HANDBAG)

Oh excuse me one moment.

(SHE FIDDLES TO THE BOTTOM OF HER HANDBAG)

Oh dash where is it?

(IT GOES ONTO ANSWERPHONE)

Hello Anthea, It’s High Profile Escorts.  Can I book you for Mr. Fitzgerald tonight.?

(SHE LOOKS UP UNCOMFORTABLY)

Oh must dash!

(AND SWIFTLY BECKONS THE WAITER FOR THE BILL)   

   
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